final fantasy nIX
by Sefie and Da Nixter
Summary: Very stupid story written by the nixter for absolutely no reason. Proves what vanilla coke can do to you. FF8,9,10 and yu-gi oh.please read and review!
1. death of a blitzball player not

Nix's story written by nix for absolutely no reason.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story, which is final fantasy, yu- gi-oh pixy stix, Oscar Meyer wieners, or duel city.  
  
~~~Alexandria castle~~~  
  
Zidane: Oooh yeah. yeah Dagger. ooh yeah. give it to me.  
  
Garnet: Zidane. quieter. the children are trying to sleep!  
  
Zidane: Hey they can't hear us!  
  
Garnet rolls off of Zidane. Then, still naked, puts her hands on her hips and glares at her perverted husband  
  
Zidane: Yes dear?  
  
Garnet: Zidane Tribal you have to stop being so loud when we are. in bed!!!  
  
Zidane: Okay but I don't see-  
  
Garnet: There are hundreds of guards around this castle and they don't have to hear us!!!  
  
Zidane: Okay honey I'm sorry. can we get back to the lovin'?  
  
Garnet: .okay  
  
In the next room where the children where "sleeping".  
  
Matt: Hey Kiwa why was the washing machine on but then suddenly stopped?  
  
Kira: I dunno Matt. hey its starting again!!  
  
Matt: Why Beatrix doin' the laundry so early in the morning?  
  
Kira: I dunno but we should go back to sleep.  
  
Matt: Okay then.  
  
~~~Balamb Garden~~~  
  
Selfie: Hey Irvy? Do you have any more pixy stix?  
  
Irvine: Yeah baby of course Irvine has some pixy stix! I'm full of sugary sweetness!  
  
Selfie: I know! That's why I love my Irvy sooooo much!!!  
  
Zell in the next room: Hey!! Keep it down in there I'm trynna enjoy some hot dogs!!!  
  
Zell sits on the floor and starts chanting the Oscar Meyer wiener song in front of a large dish of hot dogs.  
  
Zell.so everyone would be in love with me!!!!!  
  
~~~Besaid~~~  
  
Tidus and Yuna are sitting on the beach by a small fire holding each other and roasting marshmallows.  
  
Yuna: Tidus. I love you soo much!  
  
Tidus: I love you too Yuna. I love you so much that even all the Blitz ball world cups in the world couldn't add up to. I love you more than there are stars in the sky. More than- AAAHHH A SPIDER!!!! Hide me Yuna!!!  
  
Wakka who appeared out of nowhere with Lulu: That's Tidus for ya eh?  
  
Tidus got up but then tripped into the fire.  
  
Tidus: AAAAAHH!!!!! MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!!!!!!!  
  
Yuna: *rolls eyes*  
  
Lulu who is 8 months pregnant: I don't know why you're still with him Yuna. He's a chicken wuss and you're too good for him!  
  
Yuna: But he's sooooo hot!!! And he loves me! I couldn't leave him now!!!  
  
Wakka: Yes you could you know. My brudda can handle it ya? Hey T-boy!! Grabs Tidus and puts out flame*  
  
Tidus: Yeah Wakka?  
  
Wakka: Yuna's dumping you.  
  
Tidus: WHAT?!? Is this true Yuna my dearest?!?  
  
Yuna: Well actually.  
  
Tidus: I cant live without you! Let's see. *Steals Wakkas ultimate weapon (and we all know how pointy that thing is)* Hah!!! This'll do!!! *Drives it into his heart*  
  
~~~In duel city~~~  
  
Joey: Hey Mai? Tell me how much you love me.  
  
Mai: Well actually Joey I only came over here to tell you-  
  
Joey: Yes I know you came here cause you love me Mai!! Cause you know what? I love you too!! I've loved you ever since the day I first met you!  
  
Mai: NO JOEY!!! I came here to tell you that your little sister Serenity is dating Tristen and Duke Devilin!!  
  
Joey: What?!? I mean. all of that was a joke you know? Yeah. all a joke. heheheheh.  
  
Mai: *Raises eyebrows* riiiight. 


	2. rinoa dies woohoo! celebrate!

Disclaimer: Same thing as the last chapter I do not own anything.  
  
~~~Alexandria castle~~~  
  
It was quiet in Alexandria castle. Well, until now.  
  
Garnet: ZIDANE TRIBAL COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!!  
  
Zidane: Yes Dagger?  
  
Garnet: Your stupid chocobo crapped all over the new carpet!!!  
  
Zidane: Yeah but that's only because he's not allowed outside!!!  
  
Garnet: I never said that.  
  
Zidane: Yeah you did. And besides there's nowhere to keep him!  
  
Garnet: Well then you'll just have to get rid of him now won't you?  
  
Kira & Matt at the same time: No momma you can't make Choco go away!!!  
  
Garnet: Wanna bet?  
  
Matt: Okay but there's nothing I want from yo-  
  
Kira: Matty shaddup!!!  
  
~~~Balamb Garden~~~ Nix: hmm. don't know what to put in here. think. of Janine.  
  
Rinoa: Hi Seify!!  
  
Seifer: * rolls eyes* Hello Rinoa.  
  
Rinoa: You know what?  
  
Seifer: What?  
  
Rinoa: I love Squall!  
  
Seifer: Yes. good for you. You're supposed to love your boyfriend.  
  
Rinoa: I know! And He's sooooo hot!  
  
Seifer: * rolls eyes again* Sure whatever Rinny.  
  
Rinoa: He's my soul mate!!  
  
Seifer: Okay you say that one more time and I-  
  
Rinoa: I Love Squall!  
  
So Seifer went up to Rinoa, took out his gunblade and cut her head off. Then Squall came in the door.  
  
Squall: Meh she had it coming.  
  
~~~Besaid~~~  
  
Yuna, Wakka and all of the other people are at Tidus' funeral.  
  
Yuna: I loved him so much! *Sob * I. Why did you say that Wakka?  
  
Wakka: Hey I thought my brudda could handle it right?  
  
Yuna: He's dead because of you!  
  
Yuna summons Anima and uses his overdrive on Wakka, who dies immediately from a heart attack. Then Tidus' coffin starts to move.  
  
Tidus: Lemme outta here!!  
  
The lid pops open.  
  
Tidus: God you idiots! You almost suffocated me!!  
  
Yuna: Awe.  
  
Nix: And I'm done. I'm trying to talk on the phone. Don't bug me. Don't forget to review! 


	3. sweet talk and a trial

Disclaimer: I do not own anything and my writing/ typing is probably really crappy cause I almost busted my nail off while closing my trumpet case, not that it has anything to do with this disclaimer.  
  
~~~Alexandria castle~~~  
  
Garnet and Zidane are in their bed (doing you-know-what like they usually are). Holding each other in their arms, stroking each other's hair gently and whispering soft words in their ears.  
  
Zidane: Dagger. do you know how much I love you?  
  
Dagger: No sweetie how much?  
  
She cuddles up to him, waiting for an answer. So then Zidane replies with the same cheesy lines (or at least pretty close) that Tidus used in the first chapter.  
  
Zidane: I love you more than Gaia. I love you more than the seeing Kuja scream cause his metal thong is too cold. I love you more than seeing Vivi fall on his face. I love you more than how many people are still confused about what the hell Quina is. I mean what is it? Male or female? I used to think it was male until it married Vivi. well. Vivi might be gay. and-  
  
Garnet: Okay, okay! I get the point!  
  
Zidane: right.  
  
~~~Balamb Garden~~~  
  
Cid: Okay order in the court!  
  
The entire final fantasy 8 cast (other than Rinoa who happens to be dead. Remember the last chapter?) Are in a courtroom as Seifer gets trailed for first-degree murder. Then Zell the lawyer walks up to Seifer who's at stand.  
  
Zell: Okay so a few days ago you killed Rinoa by slicing her head off is that correct?  
  
Seifer: Well she is dead isn't she?  
  
Zell: No funny talk green eyes. Now then did you or did you not murder Rinoa?  
  
Seifer: I didn't murder her! I just shut her up. permanently.  
  
Zell: Hah! So he admits it!  
  
Cid: I hereby sentence Seifer Almasy to a life long in shumi village!  
  
Seifer: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Quistis (Seifer's lawyer) stands up.  
  
Quistis: Your honor he had a perfectly good reason to killing that girl! I mean who here in this room wouldn't have wanted to kill her?  
  
A few people shot their hands into the air, including Quistis.  
  
Quistis: Come on be honest!  
  
Everyone's hand was then in the air. A guy turns to Squall and stares at him with his hand in the air.  
  
Guy: Weren't you her boyfriend?  
  
Squall: Yeah but she still wouldn't shut up.  
  
Nix: Not gonna write any more of this lovely chapter. finger hurts. don't forget to review! 


	4. of oompa loompas and dances

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. but neither do you!  
  
~~~Besaid island~~~  
  
Wakka's dead body lies lifeless (duh he's dead) on the ground.  
  
Tidus: *poke poke * Yuna, why isn't Wakka moving?  
  
Yuna with Lulu balling her eyes out on her shoulder: Tidus sweetie. he's deceased!  
  
Wakka: I'm not dead.  
  
Tidus: umm. dumb it down a little.  
  
Lulu screaming: HE'S DEAD!  
  
Tidus: No that's impossible we're final fantasy characters we don't die!  
  
Wakka: I'm not dead.  
  
Lulu: YES WE DO!!!  
  
Tidus: No we just get KO'd then we get revived when someone uses a phoenix down on us!  
  
Lulu: Then what about Palom and Porom? Or Brahne! Auron! THEY'RE ALL DEAD!!!  
  
Tidus: uhh.  
  
*Tumble weed rolls across the screen *  
  
Wakka: I'm not dead!!!!!!!  
  
Yuna: Well. I guess I should perform a sending.  
  
*Sending music comes on * Yuna starts dancing on the water. Tidus dives into the water and swims underneath her. He looks up her dress.  
  
Tidus: *drool *  
  
~~~Duel city~~~  
  
Joey: Hey Yugi? Why are you so short?  
  
Tristen: Yeah. We're so much taller than you. you're like. an oompa loompa or something.  
  
Yugi: I may be smaller than you but I am smarter than you and a better duelist.  
  
Yami: Yes but Yugi is also a better duelist than you.  
  
Yugi: I already said that. Anyways maybe you two are just tall.  
  
Yami: Joey, have you ever thought that maybe you're tall?  
  
Yugi: I just said that!  
  
Yami: That's enough out of you.  
  
He makes Yugi go into the millennium puzzle.  
  
Yami: Better.  
  
Joey and Tristen: O_o  
  
Nix: heheheheh another chapter. Don't forget to review! 


	5. naked yami's flattenned cats

Disclaimer: I do not own anything or so my lawyers tell me. So does my mother. and father. but that doesn't matter! Well. so do my teachers. ok that's it on with the story!  
  
~~~Duel City ~~~  
  
Nix: Okay. yeah takin an idea from one of my wonderful reviewers. I don't remember your name but yeah here you go.  
  
Nix: Oh yeah, if someone in yu-gi oh started to do it with himself, would that count as doin it with someone else? Like Ryou would technically be doing it with Bakura or Yugi with Yami righ?  
  
Ryou is standing in front of a mirror trying desperately to find out what to wear on his date with the Yami Taea, named Alexis. (Nix: Don't ask where I got the name cause I don't remember)  
  
Ryou: Which shirt shall I wear? This blue shirt with these blue jeans? Or this blue shirt with these blue jeans?  
  
Bakura: You should wear that purple shirt with those pink jeans.  
  
Ryou: I never asked you! Stupid spirit of the millennium puzzle. always interrupting me right in the middle of my-  
  
Bakura: No I'm not!  
  
Ryou: You just did you fool! I don't even know why I bother wearing anything at all.  
  
Bakura: Same here. I mean really. we both know we look a lot sexier not wearing anything at all.  
  
Ryou: You've got an excellent point there Bakura.  
  
So Ryou and Bakura walk out of "their" apartment naked, arm in arm, skipping down the street.  
  
(Nix: I dunno I'm getting desperate kay?)  
  
~~~Alexandria castle~~~  
  
Nix: Hahahahah one of my reviewers thought I should get a talk show. You're reading it right now aren't you Allie? Die-hard ffNix fans. Gotta love'em.  
  
Zidane: Woohoo ridin' a chocobo through the castle! And no one can stop me! Muahahahah! Come on Choco! You can go faster than this!  
  
Garnet comes by.  
  
Garnet: Umm. excuse me sweetie but. you're riding the children's Gimme cat.  
  
Gimme cat: Meowwwrrrrrr hissssss!! *Cough cough * excuse me. GET OFF OF ME!!! My tiny cat legs can't. support. your. ultimate. weight!!  
  
Gimme cat's legs collapse and Zidane crushes him. Zidane looks around.  
  
Zidane: Who said that?  
  
The children come running in.  
  
Matt and Kira: Momma, momma! Where's Gimme-Gimme?  
  
Garnet: Umm. Your father has something to tell you.  
  
Matt and Kira: What daddy? What do you wanna tell us?  
  
Zidane: I dunno what I want to tell you. Dagger, what do I want to tell them?  
  
Garnet: Gimme-Gimme went. to the big litter box in the sky because a violent thief sat on him by accident. * Glares at Zidane *  
  
Matt and Kira: WHAT? Dad sat on Gimme-Gimme causing him to be crushed since he couldn't support daddy's weight?  
  
Garnet: well. that's not exactly what I said.  
  
Zidane: I sat on a Gimme cat!?  
  
Jumps up tries to get the road-kill err. butt-kill cat off of his posterior.  
  
Zidane: Eewwww. Gimme guts!  
  
Nix: There you go another chapter done. Merry Christmas to everyone! And maybe as a present to me you could review you know. ^_^ reviews are awesome. 


End file.
